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In ArcView GIS 3.x, when making a selection, the associated records are automatically selected in the linked themes and tables. In ArcMap, creating a relate for a layer does not automatically apply selections on the layer to the related data.
A relate in ArcMap doesn't automatically apply a selection to related data.
The ArcObjects help has a sample tool that will automatically apply a selection to a related table. See ArcObjects Developer Help > Contents > Samples > ArcMap > Tables > Auto Relate.